The Girl on Fire's Daughter
by Kuloms
Summary: Pespin Mellark. The girl with no friends, the stubborn girl. Who is she under those long curls and blue eyes? (Sequel to The Girl On Fire and The Boy With The Bread.)
1. Feeling Cold in Sadness and Desperation

I shot up out of my bed realizing what time it is.

I brushed my dark hair and watched my big long curls bounce back into place. I grabbed a white lace long sleeve shirt and slipped it on over my white tanktop. I slipped on a pair of tight yoga pants, and slipped on the black converse sneakers I wear every single day.

I shot out of my room and ran down the wooden stairs, nearly slipping down them.

"Good morning Pesp." My Mother smiled gleefully. Her grey eyes were lighter today, and she was sitting at the table.

"Good morning." I smiled softly. I grabbed a a slice of cheese bread and grabbed my white winter coat. I ran outside shoving the bread into my small mouth. I took my white tot bag and walked out into the snipping weather. It was so cold, that if you spit onto the ground you drop of saliva would freeze, and smash onto the ground.

I walked down the pebble path, sticking my numb hands into the pockets of my jacket.

"Pespin!" I heard a awfully deep voice call. I turned around and I froze.

Shay Nethin.

Shay is a quite unusual name. My Mother says unusual names come from the times before the dark days.

His dark brown hair went over his ears, and brushed into his eyes. His brown eyes looked like a warm chocolate. I just stared at his tall complexion as he stood in front of me.

"S-Shay?" I nearly fainted, why was he talking to me of all people? The girl who has no friends, who is ugly as a sheep, and the most strange girl in all of district 12?

"Can I walk with you?" He raised his eyebrows, looking like he was in desperation to.

"Of course." I blushed, trying not to show him my reddened cheeks.

We walked down the pebble path, my shoulder constantly brushing against his tricep. The silence was growing awkward.

"Why aren't you walking with your friends?" I asked in curiosity, looking into his dark brown eyes.

"I don't know." He shrugged, "I saw you walking alone and though maybe you wanted some company."

This really irked me.

"I don't want you to just walk with me because you feel sorry for me." I snapped. I walked faster than him, and soon I was way to far away for him to say anything without having to yell for me to hear. I looked back at him, and saw him standing there. He was looking at his feet, and I continued to watch. He kicked the pebbles angrily, and muttered something incoherently.

He really did want to walk with me.

"God damn it Pespin. You are such a screw up." I said to myself. I ruin every conversation I have with someone. I guess I get it from my Mother. My rude stubbon self. I hate that trait.

I turned around and sighed, watching my breath look like a cloud of smoke, and then watching it disappear into nowhere.

I made it to my crappy school.

High school isn't just where you go to learn.

It's where I am suppose to make friends (I don't have any) and a place where I get bullied until I want to just commit suicide.

I opened up the rusty old metal door, and walked into the world of chatter. I huffed loudly, but no one was able to hear under all of the noise going on.

I pushed through the annoying crowd. No really, I pushed people. I even heard someone mutter bitch under their breath. I would've said something, but I wasn't able to identify the person who said it.

I got into the open hallway and walked to my locker.

I opened up the lock, and put my coat into the bottom shelf, along with my bag. I grabbed my capitol text book and slammed my locker.

I turned around and smacked my forehead into someones chest.

"Ouch!" I yelped as my hand touched my now red forehead. I looked up to see Shay looking at me with anxious eyes.

"Sorry. Look, I didn't mean what I said earlier like that." He said raising his eyebrows in hope for my acceptance.

"I know, I overreacted. I tend to do that a lot." I said trying to smile.

"Cool." He bit his lip, thinking that was the wrong thing to say, "I mean Oh." He chuckled. I smiled widely.

I jumped at the sound of the loud bell, and walked quickly to class. Maybe Shay will be my friend. Or maybe even my boyfriend. I flushed at the word. I never imagined having a boyfriend before. I know that he might not like me in that way though.

"Don't get ahead of yourself." I mumbled to myself. I opened up the door to the classroom and sat inside the seat in the middle of the room. I looked at the wooden desk, filled with scratches and sharp splinters sticking out from it.

"This is my seat." I heard a girly voice come up from the side of me. I looked up. Ugh. Netharia.

"It isn't its the schools. It isn't a big deal just go sit somewhere else." I groaned glaring at her hazel eyes.

"I sit here." She crossed her arms over her awfully large breasts. I rolled my eyes and looked forward at the chalk board.

"Netharia, please sit down." Mr. Bronx said softly. I chuckled quietly as Netharia rolled her eyes as she sat at the seat next to me.

"Now was that so hard." I whispered.

The rest of the class was such a bore, yet I managed to keep listening. I didn't want to miss a single thing. Good grades is a happy parent. I said in my head.

Soon enough, the bell rang loudly causing me to jump in my seat. It was the end of the high school day, and I walked to my locker, and drooped my shoulders as I read the word "Freak" written across the front of my locker. I gulped back the lump in my throat, trying not to cry.

I turned around and looked at the group of girls laughing. I looked at the ground as I heard someones footsteps inch closer.

I looked up. Netharia.

"You know why you are a freak? You have no friends, your weird, and you are a bitch." She shouted. I never actually was offended my what anyone ever said to me, but this time it felt like I just got shot in the face.

I felt tears sting my eyes, and soon I felt them fall down my cheeks.

"Can you just leave me alone?" I looked at her narrowed eyes, yet they turned soft.

It looked like she didn't mean to make me cry. I ran away trying to make it to the bathroom, but I was stopped by someone.

Of course, it was Shay.

"What happened?" Shay asked softly, putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Nothing!" I sobbed, breaking from his strong hands. I could feel his eyes on me as I ran into the girls restroom. I opened up the stall, and put my fists against the stall wall, and sobbed into it. Netharia was right. I don't have any friends. I am weird. I am a bitch. I hate being in high school. I wiped my puffy eyes, and wiped the excess tears from my cheeks. I walked out of the stall and looked at myself in the mirror. My face was all red, which my blue eyes stick out.

"Are you alright?" I turned around to see Lilia looking at me with her sweet blue eyes.

"No." I said truthfully. She brushed her blonde hair from her face.

"What happened?" She asked with wide eyes.

"Netharia said some hurtful things." I sniffled.

"Don't listen to her." She looked like she wanted to scream at Netharia.

"But the things she said were true." I said nearly almost sobbing again.

"So what? Don't let her get to you." She smiled softly. Soon enough, she grabbed me and hugged me tight. I wrapped my arms around her back, and dug my face into her shoulder. It felt good to know that someone cared about me. I silently cried into her shoulder as she stroked my back.

"Would you like me to come over so we could talk about it?" She asked sweetly. I nodded. I smiled to myself. I can't believe I will have a friend coming over my home. We walked out of the bathroom and I noticed Shay leaning against the wall.

"Pespin!" He said softly pulling me into a hug. He smelled good, like he was wearing aftershave. I once again dug my head into his shoulder, feeling safe. Sometimes I feel so cold in sadness and desperation and all I need to do is remember to let it go.

"Would you like to join us at Pespin's house?" Lilia smiled sweetly.

"Sure." He smiled grabbing his coat.

* * *

I opened up the metal front door into my home.

It was warm, which made me feel relaxed.

"Pespin?" I heard my Father call from the kitchen.

"Its just me and a couple friends!" I called as I led them into the kitchen. My Dad was taking a pan of cookies from the oven.

"Hi!" His eyes widened. Probably because I have never brang friends over.

"Hi Mr. Mellark." Lilia squealed excitedly.

"Hi, sir." Shay bellowed.

I grabbed both of their wrists and led them to my room. I opened the door, to see Lux looking through my closet.

"Get out of my room!" I grabbed her waist and lifted her off her feet and plopped her in the hallway.

"Can I borrow one of you shi-" Before she could finish her sentence I slammed the door in her face.

"Sorry about that." Lets get done our homework, I smiled brightly.

After we were done our homework, we played truth or dare.

"Pespin, truth or dare." Lilia asked.

"Uh...truth." I smiled.

"Okay...um...who do you like?" I blushed as she finished her question.

"May I whisper it in your ear?" I said softly.

"Why not share it with all of us?" Shay chuckled.

"I don't want you to know." I joked. Shay made a silly face which made me laugh hysterically.

"Shay." I whispered so quietly into Lilia's ear that I wasn't sure she heard.

"OMG!" She screamed.

I laughed really hard. I never laughed like this before.

"Pespin?" I heard someone knock on the door.

"Yes?" I asked softly.

"May I come in?" She asked.

"Sure." I sighed.

My Mom opened the door.

"Woah! You guys look so alike!" Lilia squealed.

"Hah! You almost sound like Effie Trinket!" My Mother muttered under her breath. I glared funnily at her and she smiled.

"Dinner is ready, you guys come on down." My Mother said as she closed the door.

"Oh I almost forgot to ask you guys, I am having a party tomorrow night, I was wondering if you guys wanna come." Lilia said softly. I nodded. James nodded also.

After dinner, Lilia and Shay went home and I went in my room. I couldn't believe that I finally have friends. I put on my nightwear and I went to bed, and I most likely fell asleep smiling.


	2. Loving Hearts and Broken Hearts

The door bell rang.

I squealed as I ran downstairs to open it.

"Hey!" Shay smiled.

"Hi!" I smiled back.

"Ready to go?" Shay asked. I nodded enthusiastically.

He grabbed my hand and we walked across the street to Lilia's house. We knocked on the door, and watched as it opened and Lilia screamed at the top of her lungs, startling both of us.

"Hey!" She cried out. We both waved, and Shay looked kind of irked. We walked in and we were led into the family room.

"Sit in the circle and we are going to go around and play truth or dare." Lilia smiled. Shay and I sat next to each other, and Lilia sat on the other side of Shay.

"Okay, Shay say truth or dare to Pespin first." Lilia grinned.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"I dare you to...hmmm...lay on the rug...and...think about who you like...and when your done...say yes if the person is here." Shay blushed. I laid on the floor and thought of him. I opened my eyes.

"Yes." I smiled as I sat up.

We went around a lot, and it was a lot of fun.

It was Lilia's turn to ask Shay...

"Truth or Dare?" She said looking into his eyes.

"Dare." He said.

"I dare you...to kiss the prettiest girl here." She snickered.

Shay didn't have to even think about it.

Soon enough, his lips were against mine. It felt amazing. I couldn't believe I was even kissing him until we stopped. Lilia was grinning so widely that it looked like her cheeks hurt. I looked in awe at Shay's face as he searched my face for a sign of good. I don't think he found one though, because he got up out of the room and left. Not just the room, but the house.

* * *

I walked home and ran to my room, feeling amazing, yet worried.

I hope he isn't angry with me. I was so shocked that I could barely even move.

Shay thinks I am pretty...

I stood up, and opened up the sliding doors to the closet. I closed it behind me, and pushed my clothes away from the wall in the back. I opened up the small cupboard, and walked through it. When I got out from the other side of shut it and flipped the lock. I grabbed my music book, and sat down on the wooden seat in front of the piano.

I began playing, feeling my hands swiftly play each key, playing a beautiful tune.

I started thinking of Shay once again. Just thinking about how his lips felt against mine made a shudder of love run through my head.

I began playing a tune I heard my Mother sing.

"Are you are you coming to the tree, where they strung a man they say murdered three, strange things did happen here, no starnger would it be, if we met up at midnight at the hanging tree." I stopped. That was all I knew.

No one has ever heard me sing before. Not even play the piano.

I stopped playing. I stood up and looked at my knees. I want to be with Shay.

I walked to the cupboard and went through it. I plopped on my bed, and smiled to myself. I closed my eyes, and soon was asleep.

When I woke up I realized it was Sunday.

I got dress into tight black yoga pants and slipped on a peach colored shirt. I walked downstairs, where my Mother sat at the kitchen table.

"Mom? Can you do the braid?" I asked as I sat in the chair in front of her. She nodded, and gestured for me to turn around. I felt my Mother's cold hands touch the back of my neck, which sent a relaxing shiver down my spine. I felt her tug at the knots, and I felt her pick up more hair and put it into the braid. I felt her tie it at the end.

"Thank you." I smiled softly.

"Where are you going?" She asked with a soft voice.

"I think I am going to use my new skateboard." I informed her as I put on my jean coat.

"Just be careful, sweetheart." She said seriously.

"I will." I replied as I walked out the front door into the cool air. I picked up my black skateboard, and jumped on it. I glided down the street, staring at the woods. I continued to go farther down the street, and I soon got closer to the hob.

I skated down the alley and noticed to figures. I squinted to see who it was, and noticed Shay. Soon enough, I saw there lips meet, and the girl giggled and whispered something.

I smashed into something hard, flipping off of my skateboard onto the ground. My head hurt, not because I nearly cracked it open but because a million questions were running through my head. Did the kiss last night mean anything to him?

I stood up, and brushed the pebbles off of my now scraped hands. I felt a huge lump form in my throat, and I nearly lost the battle of fighting back my tears.

"Pespin? Are you alright?" Just what I didn't want to happen happened. I looked up to see Shay towering over me, his eyes full of worry.

"No." I hissed under my clenched teeth.

"I saw you smack into the brick wall." He chuckled. The girl walked closer and I realized who it was

Lilia.

I felt like I just got punched in the face.

"So this is what you guys do when I am not around? Swallow each other in the alley?" I clenched my fists together, nearly punching Shay in the face.

Shay was silent, and a look of hurt filled his face.

"Pespin-" I cut Lilia off.

"I thought you were my friend!" I cried out, realizing tears were streaming down my face.

"I am!" She said a look of despair written in her eyes.

"If you were my friend you wouldn't be kissing the boy I like!" I snapped. Before they could say anything else, I jumped on my skate board and skated down the alley towards the woods. I jumped off my board and sprinted down the woods, not caring about the branches scratching my face. I fell into the dirt, and dug my hands into it.

I was wailing, yet I didn't care. All I wanted to do was curl into a ball and die, never to be shown again. I stood up and walked for awhile muttering swears under my breath.

"I hate them." I told myself, "They just betrayed me. Both of them." I said loudly.

I walked onto the road, and just walked.

When I made it to my house I walked into the kitchen and kicked off my shoes.

"What happened?" My Mother gasped a look of pure worry in her eyes. Instead of lying, I started sobbing into her warm chest. She stroked my hair, as I wailed my guts out.

I told her everything, how I have no friends, when I made some, when I kissed Shay, and when he betrayed me, not just him but both of them.

"Then they aren't good enough to be your friends." My Mother whispered in my ear. I sat down and wiped my face with my dirty jacket sleeve.

I stared at my Mother and realized we are exactly the same. The same big curls, the same eyes shape, only my eyes are blue and hers are grey, the same face. Even the same personality. Not able to let someone in, but when we do, they get pushed away.

I know why my Mother is so lost sometimes. She watched her own sister die, her friends die, and she was in The Hunger Games. I could never imagine. I always say that my life is terrible, but when I look at my Mother and what she went through, it is not nearly as bad as hers was.

"Go wash up, get ready for supper." My Mother smiled as she went into the family room.

I walked slowly up the steps, every part of my muscles sore from hurting myself. I walked into the bathroom and turned the tub water on. When it was filled with warm water, I stepped in, immediatly feeling my muscles relax. I scrubbed the dirt from my body. Soon enough I was crying again. I stepped out of the water and dried myself off. I walked into my bedroom, and put on my cloth sweater, and a pair of yoga pants. I put my hair up in a ponytail, and I stalked down the steps, feeling crappier than ever.

I could smell the delicious split pea soup, luring me into the kitchen. My Grandmother was sitting at the table, running her fingers through Lux's long blonde hair, as Lux babbled off about something to my Father.

Lux was just like my Father, Peeta. She was amazing at cooking and baking, she talked...a lot, and she had a great spirit about everything. Lathan is a mixture of my parents. He is more like my Mother, but has some high spirit in him. I am just my Mother. Lathan was sitting next to my Mother, resting his chin on his arms, probably thinking about something important.

"Alright, supper is ready!" My Father smiled widely as he put the big pot full of green liquid on the table. I sat down next to my Grandmother. I poured myself some soup, and slurped it generously.

"For desert, I made some peach pie at the bakery." Dad said with enthusiasm. Everyone smiled except me, I just stared at my soup and spun it around using my spoon. I was not in the mood to feel good.

When we were done eating, I laid on the couch.

"What's with the mood?" Lux sat down next to me, with her hands perfectly folded in her lap. I ignored her and continued to stare at the floor, expressionless. Lux can easily tell if your upset, mad, or even suicidal.

"Your upset." She sighed as she rested her head on a pillow. I sat up, and walked up to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I crawled into my bed and pulled the covers over top of me as I sobbed into the sheets.

What am I supposed to do tomorrow? Ignore them? or Confront them?

I decided to ignore them.

My tears soaked my face, and I fell asleep thinking of the horrible event that occurred today.

_**Hey guys! This is the last chapter for the weekend, next weekend I will have some more up. For those of you who don't know, I do not upload chapters during the week because I am really busy with homework, and sports and things like that. Here is my uploading schedule!**_

_**Friday: I will try to upload one on Friday nights but I most likely won't**_

_**Saturday: One will be up**_

_**Sunday: I might upload one, it depends. **_

_**I will try to stick to the schedule and if I don't I will have double the chapters the following weekend! Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review and follow!**_


	3. Resolved

In the morning I woke up feeling better.

I still felt like a I was stabbed in the back, but besides that I was in a pretty good mood.

Hopefully my mood will stay like this for the rest of the day.

I walked up to the mirror and brushed my big curls, groaning after they would bounce up. I looked at the time, realizing it was 5:00 in the morning.

I have plenty of time to straighten my hair!

I slowly walked into my parent's bathroom and grabbed my Mother's straightener. She told me she got it for her birthday when I was a baby. I walked into my bathroom, and plugged it into the outlet on the wall and left it there to heat up for a few minutes.

I walked back to my bedroom and slipped on a blue cloth sweater along with a pair of tight jeans. I slipped on my new black flats that my Grandmother had bought me.

I put on a little bit of mascara, and sprayed my hair with some heat protectant and brushed it one more time to make sure all of the tangles were out of it.

I walked back into the bathroom and began straightening my curls, smiling brightly at the really long straight hair that would come out after each strand.

When I was done, I examined myself. Normally, my hair is down to a little bit above my hips, but this time it was down to my hips. I smiled and squealed, exuberant with my complexion. I walked downstairs and put on my jean jacket. I sat down at the table and heated some leftover eggs that were from yesterday morning.

I quickly ate the eggs, and washed it down with a cup of orange juice.

No one was up yet, so I grabbed a slip of paper and wrote with my neat curly handwriting.

Hi Mom and Dad

I got up early, and got some things done.

I left early to get to school so I could finish up some school things before class starts.

I love you.

**Pespin**

I left the note right on the kitchen table and walked outside into the cold air.

I began walking down the dirt and pebble path, inhaling the beautiful nature scent.

I began humming one of the real songs I wrote, and I started hoping that Shay and Lilia weren't behind me.

I turned around.

They weren't there, probably because it was really early in the morning, practically still sort of dark.

I started humming the song louder, trying to be enthusiastic because after all, I was in a pretty good mood this morning.

I arrived at the school and walked in, sighing in relief as the big crowd was smaller, way smaller. I walked to my locker smiling brightly, and opened it.

I put my coat and bag at the bottom, and grabbed my capitol textbook. I grabbed the expo marker in the locker, and wrote down my schedule for today on the whiteboard I had put in my locker at the beginning of the year.

After I was done, I put the cap on the marker and laid it on the small ledge connected to the whiteboard. I closed my locker, and felt someone tap on my shoulder.

I grimaced, hoping it wasn't Shay or Lilia.

It was just Netharia.

"Pespin, I am really sorry about yesterday. That was really immature and rude of me. I never mean't to intentionally hurt you, it was just me and my friends joking." She said looking down at her feet, probably unable to look me in the eyes.

"It was not a joke to me. It really hurt my feelings, but its okay we all say things in life that we regret later." I grinned.

"Cool!" She smiled. She looked really pretty today. She had a pink berate in her hair, and her eyes were really green.

"Why are you here so early?" She asked nicely.

"I woke up really early." I grinned.

"Did you straighten your hair?" She asked with curiosity.

"Yeah. Does it look okay?" I asked worried that it looked bad.

"It looks perfect." She picked up a chunk and ran her fingers though it, "Do you want to sit with me at lunch?" She asked.

"Sure!" I beamed. I usually sit alone at lunch, and I liked the idea of sitting with other people.

"Yay!" She squealed, "We have a lot of time before we have to get to 1st period, what would you like to do." Netharia said as she pushed her hair behind her ear.

"I don't know." I shrugged, "I actually have to do something, do you mind if I be right back?" I asked.

"No! Go ahead." She smiled. I opened up my locker and grabbed two sheets of paper. I turned around and walked to the library. I sat in one of the cushioned seats and grabbed a pen. On the paper I wrote:

Dear Lilia,

I don't know what to say.

I was really hopeful that you and Shay were going to be my friends.

I don't understand why you could do such a thing to me. Especially when I told you that I really liked Shay. You really hurt my feelings, and I thought you were better than those other girls who made fun of me the other day.

I want an explanation.

I hope you don't like him. If you guys like each other I understand but I am just confused.

I mean Shay kissed me the other day. It just makes me have a million questions. I mean if you like him you should have told me so I wouldn't take him or anything. I know you guys have been best friends since you were little but I don't understand.

Are you my friend or not?

Meet me in the library after study hall.

Pespin:)

I folded the paper up.

I took the other sheet of paper and started writing again.

Dear Shay,

I am confused.

You kissed me the other night because you thought I was the prettiest girl in the whole room.

If you like Lilia, then why didn't you kiss her?  
Do you feel sorry for me or something?

I am so confused, you have no idea.

I have to say, that I would never be able to tell you this face to face, but I really like you. I have for a while now. I thought you were better than that, but I feel like you played me. Was the kiss some kind of joke on Saturday night, or was it real. I don't even know what to do right now. I understand that we aren't in a relationship or anything but I don't know why you would kiss me, and then go off and kiss my friend.

I really want to know what is up.

Meet me at the park after school.

Pespin:)

I folded that one up too, and stood up.

I walked out of the library and walked to Lilia's locker. I slipped the folded paper into the skinny line openings in the middle of the locker.

I then walked to Shay's locker and did the same thing.

I smiled, pleased with my idea. I walked back to my locker and sat Netharia.

"Netharia!" I smiled.

"You can call me Aria." She said as she put a sticky note into her textbook.

"Okay, Aria." I smiled brightly.

After about 15 minutes the big crowd began forming in front of the entrance to the school. Why is there a big crowd? It bothers me a lot.

I saw Shay walk out of the big crowd, and immediately turned my eyes away. I was not sure but I think he looked at me, I do not want him thinking that I care what he is doing.

Aria walked next to me, we were walking to class. I brushed my shoulder against Shay's tricep and I could feel his eyes on me.

I glanced into his eyes and looked at his expression. It looked like he was drooling on me, but not the drooling part. Our eyes only met for less than a second. I turned away and my face was probably as red as a tomato because Aria was staring at me.

"What?" She chuckled.

"Nothing." I said embarrassed.

We got to class before the bell rang, and I sat in the seat next to Aria.

I watched as my history teacher went on and on about the capitol's presidents and the hunger games.

"The Hunger Games ended when Katniss Everdeen defeated the capitol." I heard this phrase a million times. Everyone knows that I am the daughter of the Mockingjay. She isn't like that anymore though. She is a Mother now. Not a rebel. Her last name is not even Everdeen anymore.

When class ended I went to my algebra 2 class. It was so boring. When it was over I walked to my locker, and opened it up. I put my math book in my locker and grabbed my lunch box. I also grabbed my music notebook, and closed it. I walked to the cafeteria and remembered that I am sitting with Aria today. I changed my mind, I really don't want to. I actually like being alone.

"Aria? Do you mind if I just sit alone at my usual table?" I asked.

"It is totally fine." She smiled.

I walked to my usual table and sat down. I opened up my lunch box and grabbed my container full of chicken caesar salad. I took the plastic fork and began eating, as I wrote down my music notes in the book.

I felt the table shift and looked up.

Shay and Lilia sat down.

I glared at them, really annoyed by their presence. Did they not get the notes?

"We got your notes." Lilia said softly. I ignored her. I continued writing note names down, and I continued to eat my lunch.

"Pespin!" Shay shouted most likely irked my stubborness. I glared at him, and stood up. I grabbed my food,lunchbox and my book and tried to stomp away.

Of course they followed me.

"Pespin can we please just talk?" Lillia cried out.

"I am not talking right now." I hissed under my breath.

"Why?" Shay grabbed my wrist. I turned around and narrowed my eyes.

"You think that it is going to be easy to make me forgive you? You guys really insulted me. Do you know what I did yesterday? I ran into the woods, and fell, as I cried into the dirt. It took me an hour to get home because all I did was cry the way. When I got home and I had to explain to my Mother what happened. Then I cried myself to sleep." I said feeling tears sting my eyes.

There goes my great mood.

"You do not know the story though!" Lilia said as Shay and her led me back to the table.

"I know what I saw. You guys were kissing." I groaned as they made me sit down.

"Tell her Shay." Lilia stared at him. I shifted my eyes back and forth at them trying to read their expressions like Lux does. Nothing.

"Okay, on Saturday night when I kissed you, I thought I was a bad kisser, so since Lilia is the only other girl-_friend_ that I have, I asked her if I could practice. So, I was practicing kissing her so I could be good when I kissed you." Shay really emphasized the word friend.

I overreacted again yesterday.

"I did not think you were bad at all. I was just really shocked that you kissed me because I did not think you thought I was pretty." I sighed, "I was expressionless because I didn't know how to react or what to say."

"Oh." Shay said with his hands on his face as he shook his head, "I am so stupid." Shay yelled at himself.

"No you aren't. It all was just a misunderstanding." Lilia smiled.

I smiled brightly, happy that the situation was resolved.

For the rest of lunch we talked and laughed. The rest of the day went slow, but between each period I would talk to Lilia and Shay, and sometimes Aria.

When it was time to leave, Shay grabbed my arm.

"On Friday are you free to maybe go out to dinner or something?" Shay said, his face flushed. He kept coming closer to me, like he wanted to just grab me and hold me. It felt awkward but at the same time, it made me want him to.

"Yes! I mean yeah." I chuckled to myself.

We walked home together.

I walked into the house and ran to my room. I laid on the bed and finished my homework while eating an apple. After that I ate dinner, and then went to bed feeling excited and anxious for it to be Friday night. I wanted to go to bed early so I could get up early once again.

I dreamed about Shay kissing me once again, only for a long time and we both were embracing each other.


	4. Boyfriend & Girlfriend

I walked into my bedroom and closed the wooden door behind me.

I walked to my bed and picked up the small cellphone I had gotten in 7th grade.

I dialed Shay's number and pressed call.

I heard the phone ringing, and I felt butterflies form in my stomach as the sound of his voice came up on the other end.

"Hello?" I heard his deep voice answer.

"Hi Shay! It's Pespin." I said softly.

"Oh hey!" He answered.

"About tonight, I know you were wondering if we could go out to dinner, but I was wondering if maybe you could just come over here and we can talk."

"Cool!" I could feel him smiling through the phone.

"See you in a few! Bye!" I said as I hung up the phone. I took a hair tie and put my hair up in a ponytail on the back of my head. I grabbed the white cloth sweater I usually wear a lot, and I put it over my white tank top, letting it fall off my shoulder a tiny bit.

I heard a knock on the door, and went downstairs to open it.

I opened it up and saw Shay standing in front of me.

"Come in!" I motioned for him to come in with my hand. He walked in and I led him up to my bedroom.

I opened up the door and walked in, closing the door behind us. I felt as if a million butterflies were flying through my stomach every time we made eye contact. I went over and sat on my bed, playing with a piece of hanging string on my pants.

"You know what I think is cool?" Shay asked, breaking the silence.

"What?"

"You are so different from everyone else, in a good way. You could care less what everyone at school thinks of you."

"If I care what people think it will make me insecure about my self. I would rather be hated for who I am, then be liked for what I am pretending to be." I said, feeling as if my face were vacant. Shay chuckled.

"It is not funny!" I laughed as I threw my pillow at his face.

"It is funny. You are so amazing, you know that?" Shay said looking me straight in the eye.

"I think I might be the opposite." I could feel his face moving closer. I felt his warm soft lips against mine, our lips intertwined perfectly, and it was like our lips were ment to touch. I put my hands on his neck, as he wrapped his around my waist. I felt a trillion butterflies form in my stomach. I went backwards, and laid on the bed as we kissed. It was nothing more than just kissing, I would not let it go to far.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Shay asked as his lips pulled away from my face. I smiled at the word. Girlfriend. Boyfriend. If Shay weren't here I probably would scream into my pillow with excitement.

"Yes." I said softly, as I kissed him quickly on the lips. I laid on my side, as Shay did the same. For awhile he stared at me. I brushed some hair from his eyes, and he kissed me on the forehead.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend before?" I asked. I knew it was rude, but I wanted to see what he would say.

"Yeah."

"Who?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes!"

"Fine. It was Aria." He sighed.

"Okay." I felt a ping of jealousy run through my body. Aria. She would definitely try to compete with me for Shay. I hate her for that, "Why did you even go out with her?" I asked.

"She liked me, and I did not want to reject her, it would be rude of me. So I asked her out on a date and we dated for 6 months. Then she broke up with me."

"Why?"

"It is nothing."

"It is obviously something."

"I am not telling you anymore."

"I don't see why you can't." I said getting sort of irked. Shay grimaced.

"Let it go." He snapped. His reaction made me jump. "I am sorry, I don't like talking about it." He sighed rubbing his face with his hands. I sat up and got off the bed and stood up.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" I asked, brushing the hair in my ponytail.

"Sure, if it is okay with your parents."

"It will be fine." I kissed his warm cheek, and wrapped my arms around his waist as I laid my head on his firm chest.

When it was time for dinner, Shay and I went down and sat next to each other at the table.

I watched as Lux and Lathan sat down, then my Grandmother, and then my parents.

"Why are you dating Pespin of all people?" Lathan asked, raising his eyebrows. I shot a glare towards Lathan, which completely shut him up.

"How old are you?" My Father asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"My age." I narrowed my eyes at my Father who chuckled under his breath.

"Do you have any brother's or sisters?" Lux asked her eyes full of curiosity.

"I have a little sister and a litter brother. I think you know my brother, Jaydin." Shay smiled softly.

Lux blushed, and went right back to eating, which made me giggle.

"Are you good to her?" My Grandmother glared.

"Grandma!" My face probably turned beet red. I looked at my Mother who was staring at him, her face vacant.

I wondered if she liked him, or realized that he was the guy that had kissed Lilia. I made eye contact with her, and made sure my eyes looked soft, to make her narrowed eyes soften. They eventually did, which made me sigh in releif.

When dinner was done, we hurried back up to my room. I was anxious to get away from all of them.


	5. Joyride

_**Hey guys! I know it is a weekday, but I really wanted to make a new chapter! In this one, Pespin is attempting to drive a car, and lemme just tell you now that I do not drive yet. So, I do not know if I am grammatically correct about it all. PLEASE DO NOT CRITICIZE MY POOR MIND lol...enjoy!**_

The next morning I woke up, feeling positive.

I decided to get dressed nice and early.

So, I got up and walked to my closet. I picked out a light pink lace shirt, along with a pair of black jeans. I pinned my hair in a beret, and walked downstairs to get some breakfast. My brother was sitting at the table, eating a bowl of oatmeal.

"Hey." I smiled softly, trying not to be too loud because other people in the house are sleeping.

Lathan nodded and continued eating. I grabbed a slice of cheese bread and nibbled on it. All I could think about was Shay's captivating face. My heart stopped everyone time I thought about the way our lips met perfectly.

I sat down at the table, and twirled a piece of my hair around my finger as I ate my breakfast. I heard someone coming down the stairs, and then I looked up to see my Father.

"Good morning." I smiled.

"Good morning!" He beamed obviously glad I was in such a good mood, "Hey, I was wondering if maybe after you are done eating we could go down to the high school and I can try to teach you to drive."

I shot out of the seat and threw myself at him.

"Thank you, thank you!" I cried as I kissed his cheek a million times, "Lemme grab my bag and we can go!" I squealed as I ran upstairs and slipped my gray uggs on. I grabbed my tot bag and ran downstairs, nearly tripping and falling on my face.

I hopped into my parents car. I usually hardly ever go in here because it is extremely expensive. During the dark days, only in the Capitol people drove cars. The parts to make it are from a lot of the different districts, therefore making it really expensive to get. My parents saved up a lot of the bakery money to get it, which took 5 years of savings. Yet, we hardly use it because gas is costly.

My Father hopped in the car, and pushed the button to turn it on. I watched his movements carefully, trying to remember everything he did while he was driving. After watching him for 5 minutes I realized there was no point in watching because he will teach me all I need to know.

In about 10 minutes, we arrived in the high school parking lot. My Father walked out of the car, and I did too. We switched spots. I felt a few butterflies fly in my stomach.

"First thing you need to do, is put the car in neutral, when you are done slowly put you foot on the gas, but slowly because it is very sensitive." I listened carefully to his instructions. I put the car in neutral, and slowly put my foot on the gas. I felt the car move under me, which caused more butterflies to form in my stomach.

"Now, hover your foot over the brake." He instructed me. I put my foot on the break and the car stopped, "Good! Now I wanted you to try turning left. Make sure you put on the turning signal, and then steer your way over to the left."

I pushed the small stick making the turning signal go on, and I put my foot on the gas. I steered the wheel to the left, and smiled, proud of my accomplishment.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Pesp. You know how to drive in a parking lot, but not quite on the road. Now I want you to go around the parking lot, do the same things I told you a minute ago." I put my foot over the gas, and once again felt the car move under me. I put the turning signal on, and turned, but after a minute I realized that I went around the parking lot twice.

"Wow! You are better than I thought you would be." I looked at my Father's blue eyes, and they had a look of pure delight in them. I smiled to myself, feeling good about my accomplishment. "Now I want you to go around the neighborhood. Please be careful and slow. I don't think there will be any cars around because not a lot of people have them. Keep your eyes on the road, and always be alert at all times." I nodded at his words, and started the car. I drove into the neighborhood and felt like I was my Mother, driving the car. I smile the whole time, really excited that I could finally drive.

"Pespin? You know how your Mother and I don't give you any money?" My Father asked as I turned the car to the right.

"MmmHmm?"

"Well I was think everyday after school you could help me out in the bakery, so you could get some money each week."

"I would love that!" I cried as I parked the car on our driveway.

"Good! You start Monday." My Father said as he closed the car door behind him.

"Dad? Can I go for a joy ride?" I asked.

"Yeah. Be _careful_." I heard him say as I drove out of the driveway. I drove down the road past the high school and got closer to town. The sun was out today, but it still was freezing. I continued to drive down the road and watched all the people who were hurrying down the sidewalk, laughing and speaking to the people next to them. I smiled as I looked at the steering wheel.

I looked up to see a car crash into the side of mine.


	6. Dead to me

**_Hey! I am so sorry I wasn't able to upload over the weekend, I have been so busy with things. Please read and enjoy!_**

There was a huge burn running down the side of my rib.

I was being pushed against the seat by something sharp, and I could barely move. I have no idea what happened or where I am, all I know is that I am injured and near death. I can feel blood oozing down my arm, and all I can think about it the thought of death running through my head.

I can hear a loud blare coming down the street but everything seems so vague against the pain. I realize that I am crying right now, but I am too much in pain to care. It's getting harder and harder to breath, and my vision is getting blurrier by the second. I feel someone trying to pull me out, and I shriek in pain as I feel a large stab in my arm.

"Get her out!" I hear a man's voice say. My vision goes blurrier, and I cannot stop thinking about how my death should be. It should be peaceful, like I never even realized I did die. This death is painful, and the anxiety is seeping through my head like blood drips down you skin.

* * *

_I am standing, in a bunch of clouds._

_Is this heaven? Hell? Who knows? Who cares. _

_It feels like a million pieces of my heart have been shattered, and I cannot seem to even remember how I got here. I begin to walk, but for some reason my legs are not moving. I feel numb, not physically but mentally. Its like my whole world is crashing down. I feel a huge ringing in my ear, as if a grenade is about to explode. I am blown off of my feet, into the air, off of the clouds. I am falling slowly, like a slow motion action movie. I feel tears coming off my face into the air. _

_This must be hell, because it hurts to be here, falling off into something I am not familiar with. _

I am startled awake with the loud beep.

I sit up, and feel my skin on my arm being tugged. I wince and lay back down, staring at the obvious IV sitting in my skin. I look around and realize I am in a hospital room. My hair is up in a high messy bun, and my hole head feels peculiar.

I try to think about what happened before I ended up here, but it all seems so vague. My arm stings, and I cannot understand why I am still alive, after everything that just happened. I can see it now, the pain, the glass jabbing into my vains like a knife seeping through somebody's chest. My head also hurts, like I just smacked into a brick wall. I look around the room and notice my Mother sitting on the couch, in the corner of the white room.

"Mom?" I am not even sure she heard me. I could barely even hear myself.

"Hi." She says unable to look me in the eye. She is twirling a strand of thread that has been coming off of her wool sweater, "I thought you were dead." Her eyes were watery now, and she began sobbing into her hands. I have never seen her break down like this. I have always thought she was the strong one in the family. I guess i never knew this side of her.

"Why? What happened?" I am unable to look at her without crying. I look down at the gauze wrapped around my arm.

"You were in a car accident. The first one ever to occur in district 12. I feel so horrible. I should have known that you weren't ready to drive. I thought that I could protect you throughout your life but you are clearly to injured to protect. I never told you this but I had a horrible life when I was your age. My own sister, was reaped in the Hunger Games. I could not imagine life with out Prim. She was my medicine, she patched all of my problems up every time I saw her smile. I thought I could protect her by volunteering for the games. So I did, and she was so happy with me. We weren't scavenging for food anymore, and we were rich. I had Peeta, and I wasn't sure that I really like him for real. Then I had to go in again, and I found myself in District 13. I knew that Prim was safe here. Safe enough. Peeta was hijacked by Snow, and I knew i couldn't protect him." My Mom was now silently crying. "When I saw Prim get blown up, I felt the same way as I did just a day ago. Angry, and frustrated. I can never protect the ones I love. The only person I can protect is myself. I am alive after all of these years of agonizing nightmares, and watching everyone around me get hurt."

I felt like I was just stabbed with a knife. I never knew that. I guess I was just hearing it from everyone else, and I could not even get my own Mother to tell met the story. _Her_ story.

It was all coming back to me. I saw the car coming, because I looked away for nothing other than a second. I felt the jabbing pain in my arm, and I felt my ribs snap. Why am I so immature? I cannot believe I even let that happen. Not only am I hurt, but I hurt my Mother and I made her think that she was selfish and couldn't protect me from all the harm in this cruel world.

I am nothing but a disease, a bad case, and a broken kid.

Something that probably was found in the trash. I never knew a person could feel so insecure about them self I just want to die rather than watch my family hurt, it felt like I was dead. Like I was dead to my own family. Dead to them. Dead to everyone. Dead to me.


End file.
